Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
