i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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