Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
