Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
