you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
