he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
