ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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