HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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