Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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