She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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