I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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