i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
