Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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