I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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