thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
