Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
