Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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