Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
