How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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