yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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