I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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