Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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