Come see our sink grown plant.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
