I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
