Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
