its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We got so high we made milksteak
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
