11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
