I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
