Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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