i already hear my dad disowning me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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