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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
