The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
