In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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