I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
