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Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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