When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize