Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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