I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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