First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
