The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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