Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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