I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
