my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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