she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
