Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
