big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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