if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
