OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
