oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
