Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My balls are so social today.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
